Nature is Not Our Friend

Mule vs. Mountain LionFrom two separate news stories this week:

“A ten-foot shark swallowed a shell diver’s head, crushing his face mask and breaking his nose. Diver Eric Nerhus later told rescue workers he survived the attack from what looked like a great white shark by poking it in the eye.”

“A 65-year-old woman hiking in a state park near Eureka, Calif., drove off a mountain lion after it clasped her husband’s head in its jaws. After breaking a pen in an attempt to stab the large cat in its eye, she whacked the lion’s nose with a tree branch. That convinced the big cat to drop her husband and slink away.”

I’ve learned two very important things from these stories:

(1) If your head is being eaten by a shark, poke it in the eye. However, if your head is being eaten by a big cat, smack it on the nose. The poke-it-in-the-eye trick does NOT work on big cats!! We have no data on whether or not it works to smack a shark in the nose.

(2) We need to devote some serious research money to finding out why large, dangerous predators find human heads to be so delicious! Maybe a generous slathering of Brylcream is in order before going into their habitats? Or maybe they’d just find that even MORE appetizing, like A-1 sauce? We need to know.

(The image shows a mule vs. a mountain lion. Apparently the ‘pick-it-up-by-the-tail’ method is pretty effective, too!)

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